so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
