Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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