I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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