i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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