D3 body, D1 cock
Kiss
Puke
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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