On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
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