I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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