everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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