"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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