My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
