I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
