Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
