he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
