who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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