She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
