Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
