He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
