Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
