Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
