Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
