let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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