i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
