she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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