No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
