Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
