These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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