Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
