Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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