y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
