Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Randomize
