I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Dick very happy bro
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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