Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
