As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
