Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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