He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
