# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
