you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
