I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
