May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
