after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
