When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
ok first of all what the fuck
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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