when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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