He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
