He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
