ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
