I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
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