Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
