I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
