But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
