The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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