:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Randomize
